I sat down on my bed, tossed my bag by the side, and looked around the room. That fuck head of Rosa's must've slept on the floor; cause the bed was still made from when Melinda fixed it up Friday morning.Fucking tears ... why did I have tears in my eyes? The bitch'd forget me in a week. Maybe she'd take up with May or something. That pair of lezzies would be good together. I'd have to make that clear quick, I wasn't some lezzie after all.I unclipped 'teddy' from my bag and put him up on my desk, petting the cat's eye I'd given him and running my other hand through my own slit. Lying down, I started to fuck myself. A light petting at first, but then I started to feel mad. Taking the dildo, I rammed myself with it hard and fast, so hard it started to hurt, until without ever cumming I gave up in frustration and threw it across the room.Pa had this fucked up idea that they started the Program to 'turn gays' straight, but far as I could tell, it was fucking up my life the other way. Perhaps I was foolish to think that she would think of me as anything other than just another person in the wilderness. And the story that I wrote, bear my soul on paper, it must have scared her off. A lonely man in the mountain looking for comfort from a woman he hadn’t even met. Eventually I convinced myself that she had read the letter and just thrown it in the fireplace. The possibility that she had left permanently never entered my mind. I was rejected. I tried to put her out of my mind, and after some weeks, and much writing, I succeeded. I found new direction to walk in, ponds, creeks, gorges, perfect outlooks for watching the sunset. I wrote many new stories during the first weeks of spring, enough that I was considering trying to publish. I had some friends that had managed to get novels to print, and I hoped that could help me through the process. The last day in April I decided that my extended vacation was getting too long and that I needed to return to civilization. .
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